Tuesday, May 4, 2010

An emo day...sigh

Today is an emo day for me. What does that mean? It means its taking every ounce of energy in me to do the most basic tasks. I'm tired, worried and feeling overwhelmed....

Yesterday was a "bad" day for my kiddo. He started off tired & crabby. At school, a teacher had a project that she was unable to explain to him sufficiently for him to be able to do it. He got "stuck" (think brain revving but gears in neutral) & was horribly frustrated by his disability. Next class, he needed access to a computer & they were all being used. He panicked. Headed to counselor who was not in. Ended up with the nurse who determined (a) he wasn't sick (b) he wasn't going home. It was the final straw. He cursed at her. And I got to go pick him up in the principal's office.

Today, he went off in an even more tired & cranky state. I'm sitting here on pins & needles waiting for - no anticipating - another one of those "Mrs...we need to talk" calls. Those calls SUCK! As does the aftermath of them.

Now, imagine the anticipation of those calls has been going on (to varying degrees) daily for eleven years. Sometimes they come daily, sometimes I get a month or two break between them. But they always come. So today is an emo day. I won't get anything accomplished. My book is abandoned because I can't concentrate to read it. I'm too anxious to eat. I have the phone sitting beside me & I'm ready to grab it the second it rings. I'm just praying that he makes it to the 2:00 bell.

And in this moment I think life can't suck any worse (when the truth is it can & I know it).

Get me thru today.

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