Talking Dogs and Sleep Deprivation...

Let me start out by saying, I can't get my kid to go to bed before 1 AM. My husband is already asleep by that point and the man snored like a freight train on steroids (yes, I think he has sleep apnea but he will not get tested). I sleep in fits and starts based on the volume of snoring (no, there is no spare bedroom or escape from the snoring from hell in my house). AND I set my alarm for 7 AM every day. Lately, I've been shutting it off and sleeping until 8 AM (because I'm damned tired!).

So....

This morning:

Me: *zzzzzz*
Dog: (poke)
Me: Hunh?
Dog: (poke) (sad face)
Me: (rolls over and shuts alarm) Go away.
Dog: (poke)
Me: What do you want?
Dog: (poke) Out! (well, it sounds more like owwww, but its 'out' - trust me)
Me: You need to go out?
Dog: Out! (poke)
Me: Okay, give me a minute. (closes eyes) *zzzzz*
Dog: (poke) Ouuuuut! (poke) (jab)
Me: Okay, okay! I know, you need to go out.
Dog: (jumps on bed) (slobbers me) Ouuuuut! (poke)
Me: Get off me and I'll take you out!
Dog: (more slobbering) Ouuuut! Ouuuut! (runs for door)
Me: (takes dog out, goes back to bed) *zzzzz*
Dog: (poke)
Me: What now?
Dog: (sad face)
Me: I'm not getting up. I took you out already. Leave me alone.
Dog: (poke) Out! Out Ma! (which sounds like owwwww mwaaaaaa)

(God help me, that is how my day started out.) And yes, my dog talks. Seriously.