...and I apologize in advance.
The kid's phone tried to ELECTROCUTE him! Now, this in and of itself is horrible enough. But it gets worse. See, this is the 3rd phone that kid has had in less than two years.
The first and second phones were the type where the keyboard slides out. Both of them had the screen disconnect from the keyboard causing a white screen (which was really quite pretty). Both were Motorola. The wiring from the screen to the keyboard failed. Verizon rules are: contract plan + phone fail = refurbished phone of same type (ie. "Here, have another phone we've fixed that had the same problem as your last one. Hopefully we've fixed it well enough for it to work for the rest of your contract.") But when the second phone failed (big surprise) in April, we told them that was unacceptable. We wanted a phone that wasn't going to fail.
So, with much haggling (they waived the early replacement fee; we accepted a brand new 2 yr. contract AND paid for new phone at a discount), we got the kid the Motorola Droid X. From day one this phone had issues. The phone periodically refused to recognize the memory card. It rebooted randomly. Kid said "No problem. I know some tricks." Kid is a computer genius. I said okay (yeah, don't say it, I know. I think the phrase you're looking for is "Dumbass"). Kid rooted his phone and for a while he was happy.
Then about 2 weeks ago the problems began. Phone kept shutting off. It wouldn't connect to 3G. It ejected memory card ad nauseum. And then yesterday, when kid turned it on to call me because class got out early...ZAP!!! He got the shock of his life. Literally. He managed to call me to tell me to come get him. When he hung up, the phone zapped him again and went dead.
When I picked him up, I have to admit I was a little skeptical. (And I might have thought he was exaggerating the electrocution a bit.) I told him to plug it into my car charger if it was dead. (Yes, yes, Dumbass and Shit for Brains, that is me.) After lecturing me that it was a bad idea, he did it. The phone made a loud ZZZZTTPFT sound, blue sparks shot out and it killed my charger. Fucking phone.
I suggested we take it to Verizon to get a replacement AGAIN. Kid said "no can do". It turns out kid's alterations to the phone to help it work better killed the warranty. Soooo...kid now has a Motorola Droid X that's a charger murdering bastard phone. Seriously, it's only use now is as a TAZER! I can't get it repaired because the warranty is voided. Our options? Pay for the new phone in FULL (uh, Droid X = $549!) OR cancel his phone (Early termination = $350 + cost of new service + cost of new phone = $600-$650).
My house has been a war zone for the last day. Aspergers + end of semester stress + no phone with internet access stress = HELL!!!) It's amazing I'm not a lush. Thank God wine gives me migraines & hard alcohol upsets my stomach. And beer is just tough to drink to excess. All that peeing kills the mood.
In the end kid took it out of my hands. He's now sporting a T-Mobile android no-contract phone ($280 + prepaid $30 card 100 mins/unlimited text & internet). He paid for it. I'm just out the $350...well, plus the money I paid 7 months ago for my electric cattle prod. I guess the upside of the whole thing is that it's cheaper than the $45/mo. we were paying Verizon for pretty much the same service.
Is it any wonder my Christmas tree is still in the attic?
Ho Ho Holy Shit.