Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A grumpy post...

When we adopted our beast six years ago, my husband promised we would fence in our yard. We'd been talking about doing it for years. (He promised to do it when the boy was born, too.) You know where I'm going with this, right??? It never happened.

The other thing that was promised when we adopted beast (aka Leo) was that I would not be the only one caring for him. That both big man and little man would take beast out. They would walk him. They would play with him. They would clean his piles in the yard. They would make sure he had water & take turns know where I'm going with this (again), right? Oh, big man takes beast for walks every now and then. Neither one ever plays with him. Neither one has ever taken care of the water/food. If I relied on them to do it, beast would be dead from dehydration! Little man takes out beast maybe once a month. Big man gripes and moans and complains and curses and takes out beast maybe once a day. But only after making sure I know how much he's being put out by having to do it and waiting until he sees if I will break down and do it first.

I play with beast. I feed beast. I give beast fresh water. I take beast for walks. I am a responsible pet owner who loves beast and wants him happy. He's a good beast. He deserves that.

However, I did some calculations (if you follow me on twitter, you will have already seen these calculations). Since I'm a good pet owner, when I take beast out I give him time to sniff/explore/be a dog. Therefore, a trip out to pee/poo is at least 15 mins. Beast is smart. Beast has learned how to fake having to do business. Beast likes to go out A LOT!

Sooo, without further ado. I estimate I'm outside with beast roughly 2-2 1/2 hrs. a day. (That's 8-10 trips out a day.) I'll low ball the number and go with 2 hrs. per day.

2 hrs./day x 365 days/yr. = 730 hrs./yr.
730 hrs./yr. x 6 yrs. = 4380 hrs. since beast moved in, standing outside while he does business and gets to be a beast.
4380 hrs. divided by (hey, I have no division key) 24 hrs./day = 182 days 12 hrs.

Okay, I have spent 182 days 12 hrs. outside sun/rain/snow/hail/freezing temps/heat/day/night with the beast since we brought him home. That's half a year, people. Minimum. Don't I deserve a fence??! Doesn't he?

(BTW, when we brought kitty beast home, little man promised to feed/play/clean his litter box. That lasted 3 wks. I am now doing that, too!)

Okay, rant over.

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